What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Two. One to hold the diet cola and the other to get her accompanist to do it.
Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.
What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman?
What's the definition of an alto?
A soprano who can sightread.
How do you put a sparkle in a soprano's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What's the difference between an alto and a tenor?
Tenors don't have hair on their backs.
How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They can't get that high.
Two. One to screw it in and the other to say, "Isn't that a little high for you?"